01.

ले चल वहाँ जो मुल्क तेरा है

जाहिल ज़माना दुश्मन मेरा ह

𝐀𝐠𝐞 : 𝟐𝟓

𝐀 𝐒 𝐇 𝐑 𝐈 𝐓

Three months and eighteen days.

Since I was in coma.

It's been one twenty one days since I last saw my love. My Rua, my Azalea.

When I finally opened my eyes two weeks ago the hospital room was filled with familiar faces, family, friends, loved ones, all were smiling through their tears asking me dozens of questions.

But all I could think of was about her.

The only one person I fought so hard to return to.

Three fucking months I had survived only for her. But she was not there. She didn't come.

Not even once.

And I?

I waited.

I waited for hours, for days, for weeks lying in that hospital bed. I waited every day for that one person who held all of my heart.

For weeks I had counted the seconds I wanted to be with her.

Every other second I felt like ripping the IV from my arm and running to her. But I couldn't. The doctor said I was still healing.

But what's the use of my body healing when everything inside me was already breaking apart?

In these two weeks, never once had Rua appeared before me.

The girl who would rather kiss death than think of hurting me was nowhere to be found when I needed her the most.

Everything felt off.

Like something was very wrong. Very very wrong. Like a part of my heart had gone missing. 

It was not her whom I doubted. It was the world.

Maybe it was because I trusted her with every breath in my body; every single time I looked into her eyes, I saw only truth, only love for me. Maybe because even thinking of her betraying me felt like a sin.

Amidst the sterile scent of the hospital and the pain in my body all I could think of was her reaction. If she had been here, she would have lightly hit my chest and said while wrinkling her tear streaked nose, “Ashrit, you’re so cruel.. opening your eyes after three months!”

And I?

I would have smiled like a fool forgetting all the pain.

Tumhare liye hi toh aankhein kholi hai, jaan.

Khair.

I repeated the same routine continuously for two weeks. Sleep. Dream of her. Curse myself to recover fast. Miss her. Think of her. Eat and sleep again.

I missed her. I missed her smell, her presence, her voice, her touch, her everything.

I missed those chocolate brown doe-shaped orbs that looked into me as if I was her everything.

I wondered if she thought about me the same way I had for three months.

Was she sad? Did she cry?

The thought of her in pain because of me made me feel like a failure.

Duniya ke dard se toh usse bacha liya par apne dard se usse nhi bacha saka.

In the hospital I had tried calling her several times but she never picked up. The line never connected. Every time I mentioned her name or asked about her, I was met with only silence.

My mother, who treated her just like her own daughter looked down everytime I said her name. My Chachi's answer was always the same, she's not answering the call.

Even Shashank and Iksha, who called themselves her elder brother and bestest friend were utterly silent this time and that only further clenched my heart with fear and desperation, even anger but not towards her, towards them.

I needed answers from everyone.

But that could wait for now. Because I needed her in front of me just like how I left her.

Twenty minutes ago I got discharged from the hospital and even before anyone could stop me or protest, I was already on my bike racing through the streets toward her house.

Right now I was standing outside her house frozen in place, for the past fifteen minutes, waiting for her to open the damn door and rush into her arms just like a wanderer returning back home after decades of unbearable exile.

My chest was aching, hurting with every heartbeat, my legs shifting restlessly every other second unable to stay still as if the ground couldn't hold me.

"Rua!" I harshly knocked at the door, getting impatient.

She was taking too much time.

Just open the damn door.

I tried peeping into the keyhole but nothing.

"Open the door, Azalea!!" I called out a little louder this time, earning weird looks from the neighbour aunties talking outside.

"Rua, please open the door. It's me, your Rit," I desperately knocked on the door.

Silence followed.

I frowned. Why was she not responding?

I lifted my eyes upwards towards the balcony, the windows were shut closed which was very odd and unusual.

Was she out? Perhaps that's the reason why she was not opening the door.

I sighed and slowly turned around to walk back towards my bike as I decided to wait for her until she returned back home. Today I will definitely meet her even if that means waiting the whole day.

I checked my phone or more particularly her contact no for the nth time.

Me: Hii!

I woke up...

Azalea, are you okay?

Why are you not replying??

Did you change your ph no?

Good morning. It's Sunday, today.

How are you??

Hundreds of messages like these from me, sent and unread. I stared at the single tick on the latest message mocking me.

I'm outside your house, where are u?

All the while I felt a constant penetrating gaze on me making me feel awkward and nervous at the same time. I tugged at my collar in discomfort.

Those aunties were staring at me mumbling and whispering something among themselves.

What? How did I even become a part of their mahila tea gossips?

"Aren't you Ashrit?"

I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder and turned back to see a young girl probably in her teens standing in front of me.

I looked at her in confusion. Before slowly nodding at her, "Yes, I am?"

She frowned and scanned my face carefully for a moment before finally deciding to break the awkward silence, "When did you wake up from coma?"

"Two weeks back. But do I know you?" I asked back, my mind racing to remember where I had seen her before.

How did she know me? I don't recall meeting her before.

"I am Anshi, Rua's neighbour. But what are you doing here?"

Was that a question?

What would a man holding flowers do outside his girlfriend's house?

"I came here to meet Rua," I said the most obvious answer.

But hearing my answer, her confusion only seemed to grow more. She scanned my face maybe for any lies and then looked sideways before finally questioning again, "What do you mean by 'to meet Rua' ?"

I looked at her dumbfounded.

"I came to meet my girlfriend?"

"So you're not aware of her?"

"What do you mean?" I asked this time raising my voice a little, getting irritated, causing her to nervously gulp down.

I waited for her to speak something but I pinched the tip of my nose when I saw her just standing motionless as if she lost in her own tiny world. Shaking my head annoyance, I turned and started walking in the opposite direction.

This girl was just wasting my time.

"She's no more."

I froze.

My grip on the bouquet loosened immediately and I felt the ground drop out from under me. My breath got stuck in my chest and something inside me shattered.

Those three words, just three words had the power to stop my thoughts and everything around me.

I clenched my jaw before snapping at her abruptly and in just three big steps I was standing in front of her, "What did you say?!" My eyes darkened, rage shimmering inside me.

She trembled slightly hearing my voice before taking a step back in fear, "I-I..Rua died."

That's it.

"Get away from here!!! Right. now." I growled, more like I shouted making her nod at me hesitantly before she quickly ran out of my sight, almost on the verge of crying.

But none of that mattered in that moment.

I looked away. A storm of fury already growing inside me.

How could she speak about my Rua like that? She had no right to.

Which neighbour calls her friend - No no no.

What are you even thinking about Ashrit? Don't even dare wander your mind there. Rua would never leave me.

I know I will always be loved by her. Forever and ever.

And I will be waiting for her no matter what.

Sitting on the stairs in front of the main door of her house, I kept waiting for her.

I waited. Until the sun set and the night grew cold. Until dark clouds veiled the sky hiding the moon.

Isn't it strange how one moment the moon was shining bright and the next, heavy clouds took its place, eclipsing its light.

Perhaps the moon never shone. But I just wished it did.

A lightning flashed followed by the sound of roaring thunder like they were always meant to be. Together.

She's no more. Rua died.

Those words replayed in my mind like a mantra refusing to leave.

Looking up at the sky, I took deep shaky breaths trying to control my emotions.

I ran my fingers through my hair gripping it tightly as if that alone could keep me grounded. My chest felt heavy and each breath felt harder than the last. My vision blurred as I fought the tight knot in my throat.

I tried my best to stay strong and not break down but then a few raindrops fell on me.

That's it.

My eyes finally betrayed me.

One drop. Two drops. Three drops.

I didn't know if I was counting the number of tears leaving my eyes or the rain drops hitting me. Everything blurred together until it all felt the same, grief falling from the sky and spilling out of me.

My salty tears mingled with the tears that the sky was shedding. The skies wept for her too.

And at that moment I thought at least I had someone who was crying with me. At least I had someone who was sharing my grief.

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